A heart like mine

Today's topic of discussion is me, facebook, and my twisted relationship with Jesus Christ:

It started last week, when I posted the following image with the comment that, well, he did lose his shit that one time and curse the fig tree:

I only got ONE like for that comment, ONE, which proves that my friends are either more devout and reverent Christians than I am or they're just not welling to admit that they're twisted enough to think that's funny.   Cause if you think about it, making a tree wither and die because it wasn't bearing fruit when you wanted a snack? 

Seriously? 

I think I get to say that.  Saying it on my facebook wall doesn't make it worse.  He has met me.  Kind of like my friend apologizing for complaining about his parent's behavior post divorce in the nave of our church-- really?  It isn't like he doesn't know you're upset with her.   It isn't like he doesn't know I swear.

And it isn't like cursing a fig tree because it doesn't have tasty figs on it isn't at least on the surface a bit much.   I think I get to say this kind of thing by now.   Especially considering I identify with this: 

Sometimes kicking and screaming.   And I don't think God hates figs.  I think that was a case of 'whelp, might as well drive the point of that parable home a little hard today'.   I'm cRaZY, yes, but Noah was a drunk, Peter was an impetuous ass who made promises he couldn't keep, Moses was a murderer, and David was a real jerk when he decided he wanted someone.  My god ran around with whores, rednecks, crazies and government employees.  

I don't think normal is normal in the Kingdom of Heaven.   I think it's the one place my behavior would be considered toned down.   I once had someone ask me what I would do if I was drinking alcohol and watching a horror movie and Jesus came to the door.   I told her I'd do the only appropriate thing to do: 

Invite him inside and offer him a glass!

Edit:  In reference to how I think God sees people, good or bad, repentant or not, I believe with all my heart that God sees each of us and says "this is mine". 

Or see below, thank you facebook:

Adult Conversations

Picture it:   Sitting my living room eating bourse on a bagel and drinking a glass of moscoto.   Perfect picture of the quintessential freedom hating liberal, aren't I?

I have a favor to ask:  Forget for a minute that I'm a registered Democrat, an Episcopalian, and friend of friends of Dorothy everywhere.   Forget about that.   I have a favor to ask.    Can we have an adult conversation about guns?  

I don't even remember how old I was the first time I fired one.   I have no problem with law enforcement officers carrying them, even off duty and in church.  I don't own one mostly because it's only in the last few years I could trust myself not to lose my temper and flat out murder some sumbitch that beat up my friend in front of her kid, or hurt their child or otherwise did something to inflame my sense of moral outrage and instinct for vigilante justice.   That's the honest truth, I don't care if you own a gun.  I really don't.  

As long as it's just a gun.  You know, the kind a civilian would have a use for.  In the last few days I've been trying to figure out why that man in Colorado was allowed to buy a military grade assault rifle that could fire off 100 rounds in a minute.  I know criminals gonna get guns for crimes, but it wasn't illegal for him to buy this thing. 

 Serious question:  What legitimate use does a civilian have for a weapon like that?   

Hunting?  Are you mowing down an entire herd of rabid deer?  Coyote that move like cheetahs?   Mountain lions that "don't live in Oklahoma", en masse and heading toward your house in a giant pride?  Preparing for the zombie Apocalypse?  Do you think you're actually going to have a need to fight off the U.S. military?  If you do think that, do you really think this is going to do something other than take more people with you?  

I think the obvious answer for most people is because they can and they think it's fun to shoot something like that.  I want a tank but I don't think it's legal for me to own one.  I also can't imagine how pissed my uncles would be if I took one out to the farm and started blowing up open pasture.    I would like a grenade as well, same premise.  It would be FUN to throw it as long as my target wasn't breathing.   

So can we have an adult conversation about guns?  Mental health care?   Access to it?   

Why the hell I can't buy sudafed without signing for it, pulling out my driver's license and having my purchases tracked just in case I decide to cook meth with it but this guy had 6,000 rounds in his home and no one noticed?  Why I can get a ticket for having a head light out and this guy can have ALL THE LIGHTS out in his frontal lobe where the part of his brain that told him this was wrong used to live and no one noticed?   

I realize we don't know the answers to these questions yet.  I realize this.   Can we please have an adult conversation about guns?    

Please?   

I know guns don't kill people, but I'm having hard time imagining that pelting people with rocks or bows and arrows would have the same impact as the weapon this guy used.   The weapon he had no earthly legitimate use for besides imitating a character in the movie and mowing people down.   I guess the question I'm really asking is where to draw the line.  

Note:  Please comment on the blog.  Yes, I moderate comments but it's mostly to keep creepy dirty spam off my blog.   You don't need to post it twice.  (I get my email on my phone so I'll see it several times a day.)