New Rules for Christmas

1) I am not buying presents after December 1st for Christmas or Hanukkah. I am going to ENJOY Advent next year.


2) All gifts will be small and inexpensive. It's too much stress worrying whether someone will appreciate it, think it's enough, or like it because... Did I mention none of those kids are not my kids? They're all my brother's kids or my friends' kids. Is there some kind of law that even spinster women have to go broke on Christmas? For siblings? Are you serious? I'm sorry, this is a holy day for me, not an over-expenditure of obligation.

3) I recycle gift bags. Get over it. They are too pretty and useful to throw away until they're "done".

4) I will go to Christmas parties, Winter Solstice parties, and Hanukkah parties if I so choose. If I am a weirdo because I love my friends then I'll be a weirdo.

5) It isn't my birthday, it isn't your birthday. Technically, it probably isn't even Jesus' birthday, it's just the day we have the party. Please remember this person was born in a cow shed to a working glass couple and spent his life preaching (among other things) about the misuse of wealth and bringing good news to the poor. Nowhere does he indicate that it's your religious duty to outspend your neighbor and put retail stores in the black. Don't get suckered in!

6) Not a new rule but a golden oldie: It's Christmas Eve tomorrow. Kindly, faithfully, quietly and safely, get your ass to church. Don't have anywhere in mind? If you live in town or nearby, message me. I'll give you an idea.