The Dark Inside Ourselves

We're all afraid of the dark inside ourselves. ~ Halloween 1978

I have a confession to make. I, the queen of horror movie loving weirdos, cannot stand slasher flicks. I haven't even seen Saw. Let alone all it's gory squeals. I can't even watch CSI because I once saw a corpse with maggots crawling out of it on that show.

Now I'm going to tell you that when I was a teenager my favorite movie was The Exorcist. Yes. It's true. I can still quote it. I do still quote it when my best friend is around. (Because we're twisted sisters from another mister....instead of brothers from another mother which would require us being boys.) I guess the difference is that Regan's guts don't quite make it to the table in that film. Oh yes, it's gross, but the blood doesn't quite flow like it does in slasher flicks.

I also love Carrie. They ARE all gonna laugh at you! You'd better cover up those dirty pillows too, Carie. I am absolutely fascinated by supernatural horror movies. If you look at my DVR cheque you'll probably think I'm crazy. I probably shouldn't go into that...

I promised myself I was going to write a Halloween blog. I guess I should tell you a ghost story now that you know better than to expect me to watch Saw 3D with you. Here's the way I remember it:

I was about 14 or so. I know it was before I started wearing contacts. I should preface this by saying that I have always been scared of the dark. I had also always been terrified of my parents front hallway. I got a terrible feeling every time I passed by it, like there was something waiting in the dark to reach out and grab me. I had a ceiling fan when I was a kid, and because I really was scared of the dark (even at 14) I would turn the light off in my room every night from the ceiling fan. I figured if I was safe in my bed nothing could get me. The water bed was directly in front of the window, with the ceiling fan in the middle. I turned it off that way every night.

So one morning, about five am, I wake up with heartburn/acid reflux. I don't have contacts yet, not wearing my glasses at this point in the day, and I'm extremely near sighted. I sat up in bed and I see a boy turn my light on by the switch on the wall. I wasn't even close to awake, so I didn't think this was strange at all. I thought it was my younger brother. So I start yelling at the guy. What! What do you want? No response. At this point, I noticed the boy had lighter hair than Jimmy does. I decided it must be one of his friends. Again, I started saying What do you want? The kid is standing at the foot of my bed with a white t shirt on with some kind of design on it.

I didn't get a response and at this point I noticed that the kid didn't have a lower body. There was just nothing there. I did what I call "swearing a prayer" and said Jesus get that thing out of here! and the kid/ghost disappears. For some reason, I get up and start looking for answers. My brother is asleep in the next room. Not fake asleep. I can tell when he's faking it, though, I'll be kind and not tell you how. My father is up, but he stands 6'3" tall and there is no way I'd ever have mistaken him for a 12 year old boy. My mother, again, sound asleep. Older brother wasn't living at home at this point, and again, the guy is as tall as my father and I couldn't mistake him for a 12 year old boy.

I never saw the kid again. I never saw him before that morning. I wrote all this down so I wouldn't screw it up.

So why on earth am I telling this story on my religious blog on Halloween?

First of all, yes, I am a twisted sister who does (admittedly) a lot to attract this sort of thing. I am not innocent in this. At that point in my life, however, I was fairly innocent. Okay, so maybe not. When I was 12 we had a seance. We manufactured a Ouija board out of a stereo box. Nothing really happened until the next day. I'm not going to tell that part of the story.

Let's just say nothing even resembling an incantation has passed my lips since. I have not touched a Ouija board since. I don't even allow myself to read Tarot. Mostly because I am Le Paranoid, spiritually speaking, and I don't want to get in trouble with Papa. (By Papa, I mean God, not my Dad.)

Every time I have ever heard a story about a kid playing with a Ouija board some seriously bad stuff has followed. For some reason, that 'game' seems to attract every unpleasant spirit within a fifty mile radius. So why do people keep playing with them? Why do I watch horror movies for that matter? Why do I have Celebrity Ghost Stories on record on my DVR? (Along with Ghost Stories, My Ghost Story, Paranormal State, and Ghost Hunters) It's not like I have any shortage of real life ghost stories to look to. I don't frequently see things, but I'm not even all that freaked out by hearing them at all. It isn't my first 'rodeo' so to speak, on this subject.

So why do I seek it out? I think it because, as they put in Halloween, the first horror movie to scare the crap out of me rather than fascinate me, 'we're all afraid of the dark inside ourselves'. We're scared of us. We're scared of things about us that we can't see or touch or explain with science or religion. We're scared of, to put it the way the spooky blond parapsychologist did in RoseRed, the blood under the skin.

But to me, these things are part of life. Bad things happen all the time. They do. I think one of those bad things that happen is that people don't quite make it to where they're supposed to be when they die. They run, or they get scared, or they just refuse to go. I don't like to think about it. I'd like to think that death angels are better at their job than that, but that isn't really fair is it? People are unpredictable, even if you're used to them. So they don't all get there. I also think that sometimes an event make an imprint on a place, and that's what an residual haunting is. The other thing I think happens sometimes is that bad stuff, evil stuff, tries to scare us. Distract us. Make us uncomfortable. Even if it's just to steal our sleep or make us sleep less soundly.

Here are some points to remember when dealing with this stuff:

1) Don't freak out. It makes it worse. I know that's easier said than done. Failing that, see #2.
2) Swear a prayer. God knows we're all a bit loony toons when we're scared out of our wits. He doesn't seem to mind this sort of thing. Ask for help, do it honestly, and cut through the crap straight to the point.
3) Do not, not, not, mess with Ouija boards. These things are portals straight to hell. I'm not going to mince words. They bad. Don't let people do it on your property either. It's your house!
4) Regarding # 3, if you want to communicate with a spirit and it's not working for you because you're a spiritual dud and just don't have that kind of talent, ask someone who does and can to come around and do it for you. Don't mess with the board. The bad guys can smell muggle and they like the taste of fear.
5) If it's a nice ghost, who's behaving itself, tell it to let you sleep, take back your house and be done with it. Remember, this is YOUR space now. Yours. Not anyone else's. Who cares who lived there before, you pay the rent/mortgage now. Tell them that.
6) If all that does not work, get rid of it within the confines of your faith. House blessing are good for Christians. Don't forget to use the name of the whole trinity. Throw in "The Living God" on top of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. For some reason the bad guys really hate that. If nothing's going to be there to fill the empty space, like, er ugh, faith, don't do a Christian house blessing. It will make it worse. I promise.
7) Ask for help. Literally and spiritually.

(Click the link I put in with "I promise". That stuff appears in TWO gospels, which I think means he must have really told that story. Just my two cents.)

Happy Halloween!!!!!!!!!!