I can be none other than what I am and seek ye not to alter me.

"I can be none other than what I am and seek ye not to alter me." ~ William Shakespeare (Much Ado About Nothing)

You wouldn't think that the words spoken by John the (literally) Bastard in Much Ado Nothing would have had as much impact on my life as they have. There are some things about a person they can't change. I mean technically. You can cover it up. You can bleach or tan your skin. You can wear colored contacts. You can have someone surgically alter your face or your body. Underneath all that? I'd still be pale green eyed brown-haired western European mutt sporting thick lips and a prominent nose. I can't be anything other than what I am. The other thing I've figured out is that no matter how angry I get at the Church, I can't stay mad at Jesus and even if I could, I'd still be a Christian. I could renounce my faith and not attend church for fifteen years, I'd be watching Star Wars with somebody and they'd say "The Force be with you!" and I'd still internally respond "And also with you". I am Pavlov's dog, people. I've come too far to turn back on this road now. It's internalized. It's part of me. There is no "reprogramming" for Leslie. I guess it's better to fight through it than to try and pretend I don't belong with "those people". I am one of those people. Christianity has changed the fundamental nature of what I am. Not who---What.

Yup, if they do something to piss me off it's better to stay and fight. Why? Because I honestly believe that Christianity is bigger, more open, wider, and better than so many people think it is. I have friends who actually applauded Anne Rice for leaving the church. I think she's being quite silly. For one thing, I saw her reconversion coming years before she did (publicly anyway). She always came back to the subject in her vampire books. I could smell lapsed Catholic on her even back then. (The scent lingers like old-lady perfume.) The thing of it is though, she knew all those things about the Roman Catholic Church before she yoked herself to them again. She knew those things when she used them for absolution and guidance on her road back. Now she's cutting herself off from them again, but keeping Jesus, when she knew all those things about them to begin with. I don't mean to be rude to my Roman brothers and sisters, but you'd have to live under a rock not to know those things about the Roman Catholic Church. She's grown. Hell, she knew better. It's like expecting a pit bull (that's been biting people for years) not to bite. When the Church starts acting un-christlike we have three choices, get with their program (not good), fight back, or leave. I prefer the second option. I'm not stupid enough to think I can single handedly make the Church behave itself, but I am stupid enough to think I can start or continue ripples in the water that will eventually make it to the shoreline. I'm fortunate that the Episcopal Church is moving forward toward letting go of some of the evil the Church has picked up over the years. The word has become tainted? It was ours first. Somebody called us that years ago as an insult. Let the reclaiming come full circle. Let's make it to where they're afraid to use it. Let's make it associated with self-sacrifice, social justice, and liberalism again. Anybody up for that?

Hello, my name is Leslie and I am a Christian? I've never pretended to be anything else. No anonymity for me. I'm just a simple fool on this ship of fools hoping we'll find the shoreline some day.

(Apologies to Roger for quoting his blog.)