Observations on the mental effects of homeownership

In the last year, I have gone from being a renter to a homeowner. I have noticed several things about the effect this is having on me and my 'relationship' with my yard:

I. I now understand what the insurance companies mean by "pride of ownership". I feel compelled to do things like cut my grass in a timely fashion instead of waiting until I hear "Welcome to the jungle" in my head as I pull into the drive. The standard for the backyard if I am tired or sick is still "Could I lose a dog in there?". I have a feeling it will remain so. But only if I am tired or sick.

II. The Weed-eater has become a necessary evil. Brother strung it for me and it works better, but it's still a machine created by the Devil to irritate decent people. Please note I didn't say "a" devil but "the Devil". To quote a certain movie, "if you've seen as many psychotics as I have you know that's the same thing as saying you're Napoleon Bonaparte." (And I might point out that it's only a sign of psychosis if you AREN'T The Devil or Napoleon Bonaparte.)

III. I do things I hate like running a weed eater. I do things I don't like or dislike like spraying for bugs and weeds. I do these things in an attempt to be a less irritating neighbor. You're probably all thinking things like "My God, she's so boring, how can she be an irritating neighbor?" Well, I have a car with a horn that used to go off at four AM due to an electrical problem and it didn't wake me up. This went on for several weeks before I talked my younger brother into showing me how to disconnect it without actually doing permanent damage. I still let the dogs out in the morning in my pjs with no make up. That won't change but hopefully the gardens bordering their fence will camouflage it.

The flowers are there because I want them to be. The vegetables are there so I won't have to give Jumbo foods so much money this summer. (Best grocery store in town.) My dogs are annoying but it could be worse. I could be the cat breeder like the lady next door to me at my last house... but here's the deal: I care about the gardens but not the lawn. I know that sounds insane and it probably is a little nuts but it's totally true. If it were legal and wouldn't create a mud pit, I'd torch the lawn so I wouldn't have to mow it.

That's a joke.. sort of.

So why did I both knock it down and weed eat it?

It's part of my feeble efforts to be a better neighbor. My feeble efforts to be a better neighbor which are part of my even feebler efforts to be a better Christian.

Is that gardening theology?